Privacy Policy

The short version

• Your chats with Ami, your check-ins and your notes are private to you. Your partner can't see them.
• What you do together, like answers, talks and agreements, is shared with your partner. Most answers unlock only once you've both answered.
• To reply, Ami sends what you write, with some context, to Anthropic's Claude AI.
• There are no ads and no tracking across apps and websites, and we never sell your data.
• You can delete your account and its data in the app at any time.

Who we are

Mon Ami (“we” or “us”) makes Mon Ami and is responsible for your data. If you have a question about privacy, or want to use any of your rights, email hello@monami.love.

Your account

There's no sign-up. When you first open Mon Ami, it creates an anonymous account for you, with no email address or password. Your account has a random ID, which we use to keep your data together and apart from everyone else's. For now, the account lives in the app on your iPhone.

What we collect, and why

We collect what you choose to put into Mon Ami, plus what we need to make it work. We use it to run the app for you: to show it back to you, to share the right things with your partner, to send the notifications you've asked for, and to help Ami give replies that fit you.

Your profile

• Your name, and the initial we draw from it. Your partner sees these.
• A photo, if you add one. It's shrunk to a small square and kept in private storage that only you and your partner can load.
• Your answers to the questions when you set up the app, such as what you'd like to work on, how you tend to handle disagreements and what you hope for. These are private to you, and Ami uses them to understand you. We also keep how you heard about Mon Ami, if you tell us.
• The things you love doing. Your partner sees these.
• Your goal for the week, and your settings, such as whether Ami remembers. These are private to you.

Private to you

Only you can see these, even when you're paired.

• Your chats with Ami: your main chat and your weekly goal chat.
• Memories: short notes Ami saves about what matters to you, so you don't have to repeat yourself. You can see and delete every one.
• A running summary of your older chats, which helps Ami remember the whole conversation.
• Your check-ins on how things feel between you and how secure you feel, with an optional note.
• The days you tick off for your weekly goal.
• Your private notes on what your partner likes.
• Learnings: short takeaways Ami writes just for you after a talk.
• Your private prep for a talk, how heated you felt going in, and anything Ami says only to you during a talk.
• Any deeper answer in a talk that you choose to keep to yourself.

Shared with your partner

Once you pair, these live in a space the two of you share, and you can both see them.

• Your shared space and its invite code.
• Your answers to the daily question, question packs and games. Your partner sees an answer only once they've answered the same question. Ami may add a short note on your answers for you both.
• Date ideas. Your partner sees the ideas you've both said yes to. The app doesn't show them your no's.
• Talks: what you each say, the answers you reveal to each other, how you each felt at the end, and the summary.
• Agreements, and your check-ins on how they're going. Check-in answers unlock once you've both answered.
• Details about the two of you (such as living together or having children), when you got together, birthdays and other key dates.
• The town or area you type in for date ideas near you, and the ideas Ami finds. We never use your GPS location.
• Nudges you send each other.
• Your name, initial, photo and the things you love doing.

Kept on your phone

• Face ID lock. If you turn it on, your iPhone checks it's you. We never see your face or fingerprint data, and the setting stays on your phone.
• Off the record chats. When you choose Go off the record, the chat stays on your phone only while it's open. We don't save it, and Ami doesn't remember it. The messages still go to Anthropic so Ami can reply.
• Texting an invite. If you tap Text them, you choose a contact with Apple's contact picker. Mon Ami only gets the contact you choose, uses it to fill in a text on your phone, and doesn't send it to us.
• Small settings, such as your daily reminder time and which of Ami's replies you've read. The daily reminder itself is scheduled on your phone.

Notifications

If you allow notifications, your iPhone gives us a push token. We store it with your account so we can send you updates about your partner through Apple's push service. A notification says who and what kind of thing is waiting, such as your partner's name, a game or date idea, or your town. It never includes what anyone wrote in a chat, answer or talk. You can turn off updates about your partner in Us › Notifications, or turn off all notifications in your iPhone's Settings.

How Ami uses AI

Ami is powered by Claude, an AI model made by Anthropic. When Ami needs to write something, our servers send the relevant text to Anthropic, and Anthropic sends back the reply. Anthropic processes this data under its commercial terms to provide the service to us. You can read Anthropic's privacy policy to learn more.

Here's what Ami gets, and when:

• Your private chats. Your recent messages in that chat, plus context so Ami knows you: your name, your setup answers, the things you love, your weekly goal, your recent check-ins, your notes on your partner, your learnings, details about you two, your key dates, and your partner's name and the things they love. If Ami remembers is on, Ami also gets your memories and the summary of your older chats.
• Off the record. Only the messages in that chat, and your name.
• The daily question. Both of your answers, once you've both answered, so Ami can write a short note for you both.
• Talks. Your private prep, so Ami can help you find a gentle way to start. The answers you reveal to each other and what you say in the talk, so Ami can respond, suggest an agreement, and write your summary and learnings. If your phone spots a message that might land as blame, Ami reads it before you send it and suggests a softer way to say it.
• Date ideas near you. Your town, the dates, your names, the ideas you've both said yes to, and the things you each love. Claude searches the web and reads web pages to find real things that are on.

Ami never brings your private chats, memories or check-ins into a talk, or into anything your partner sees.

Who we share it with

We don't sell your data, and we don't share it with advertisers. A few companies help us run Mon Ami, and they handle your data only to provide their services to us:

• Supabase hosts our database, accounts, photos and the server code behind Ami. It stores your data on Amazon Web Services in the United States (us-east-1, in Northern Virginia).
• Anthropic provides Claude, the AI behind Ami, as described above.
• Apple handles payments for Mon Ami Plus and delivers push notifications.
• Vercel hosts this website and our invite links.

We may also share information if the law requires it, or if we need to protect someone's safety. If Mon Ami is ever sold or merged, your data would pass to the new owner under this policy, and we'd tell you first.

Payments

Mon Ami Plus is sold through the App Store. Apple handles payment, and we never see your card details. The app checks with Apple, on your phone, whether you're subscribed.

No ads, no tracking

There are no ads in Mon Ami, and no analytics or advertising tools in the app. We don't track you across other companies' apps and websites, and we don't sell your data. If you've chosen to share analytics with app developers in your iPhone's settings, Apple may show us anonymous crash reports and usage numbers.

This website doesn't use advertising or analytics cookies.

How long we keep it

• Most things stay until you delete them, or delete your account.
• Talk words fade. Once 30 days have passed since a talk ended, what you said in it, your private prep and your answers are deleted for good. The summary, your learnings and your agreement stay. If you both chose to keep the words, they stay until the talk is deleted.
• A talk that's still going, paused or never sent keeps its words until it ends or is deleted. Either of you can delete a talk for you both at any time.
• Clearing your chat with Ami deletes its messages. Clearing your main chat also deletes the summary of older chats. Memories stay until you delete them.
• Push tokens are deleted when Apple tells us they no longer work, or when you delete your account.
• Deleted data can stay in our hosting provider's backups for a short time before it's overwritten.

Your choices

All of these are on the Us tab unless we say otherwise.

• Ami remembers. Turn it off in Us › Privacy and Ami stops using and saving memories and the summary of older chats. Your chat itself is still saved so you can scroll back. When you turn it off, you can also ask Ami to forget everything it remembers.
• What Ami remembers. See every memory in Us › Privacy, and delete any of them.
• Clear chat. From the ⋯ menu in your chat with Ami.
• Go off the record. From the same menu, for a chat that's never saved.
• Delete a talk. From the ⋯ menu in a talk. It's deleted for you both, but an agreement you've already made stays.
• Notifications. Turn off updates about your partner in Us › Notifications.
• Unpair. From your partner's page. What you shared is hidden from you, but it isn't deleted. It stays in your shared space, which your former partner is still part of, so it comes back if you pair with them again. Everything private stays yours.
• Delete your account. Us › Privacy › Delete my account.

Deleting your account

Delete my account deletes your account on our servers straight away and signs you out. It can't be undone.

• Everything private to you is deleted: your profile and photo, chats with Ami, memories, summary, check-ins, goal, notes on your partner, learnings and push tokens.
• Your answers, your talk prep and talk answers, and any talk you started are deleted too.
• If you created your shared space, which is usually the case if your partner joined with your code, it's deleted with everything in it, for you both.
• If your partner created it, it stays with them. Some things you made together can stay there, no longer linked to your account: agreements, talk summaries, Ami's notes on your answers, details about you two, key dates you added, and what you said in talks your partner started. Those words fade on the usual schedule unless you'd both chosen to keep them.

Deleting your account doesn't cancel Mon Ami Plus. Cancel it in your Apple subscriptions as well.

Keeping it safe

Everything travels between the app and our servers over encrypted connections. Database rules mean each account can read only its own private data and what's in its own shared space, and photos are kept in private storage. You can also lock the app with Face ID.

Your data isn't end-to-end encrypted, so it can be read on our servers. Apart from our providers, only the people who run Mon Ami can get to it there. We only look at your content when you ask us to, for example to fix a problem, or when the law requires it. No system is perfectly secure, but if something goes wrong that affects you, we'll tell you as the law requires.

Children

Mon Ami is for adults. It isn't meant for anyone under 18, and we don't knowingly collect data from children. If you think a child is using Mon Ami, email hello@monami.love and we'll work with you to delete their account.

Where your data is stored

Our servers are in the United States. If you live in the UK, the European Economic Area or anywhere else outside the US, your data is sent to and stored in the US, where data protection laws can differ from yours. Where the law requires it, we rely on safeguards such as standard contractual clauses in our agreements with our providers.

Your rights

Wherever you live, you can ask us to:

• give you a copy of your data
• correct anything that's wrong
• delete your data
• limit how we use it, or object to how we use it
• send your data to you, or to another service, in a common format

You can do much of this yourself in the app. For anything else, email hello@monami.love. Accounts don't have an email address, so we may ask for details that help us find your account and check it's yours. We'll reply within a month.

UK and EU

Under the UK GDPR and the EU GDPR, we use your data because you've asked us to provide Mon Ami to you. Some of what you share can be sensitive, such as details about your relationship, sex life or health. We use that only to provide the service, and only because you've chosen to share it with us. You can withdraw that consent at any time by deleting what you shared, or your account. You can also complain to your data protection authority. In the UK, that's the Information Commissioner's Office.

California

If you live in California, you have the right to know what personal information we collect and how we use it, to delete it, to correct it, and not to be treated differently for using these rights. We don't sell or share personal information, as California law defines those words, and we don't use sensitive personal information for anything beyond providing Mon Ami.

Changes to this policy

If we change this policy, we'll update the date at the top of this page. If a change matters, we'll tell you in the app before it applies.

Contact

Questions about privacy? Email hello@monami.love. You can also read our Terms of Use or visit Support.